I remember when my dad had a cardiac catheterization when I was in college. He told the nurse that it was important I take him because I wasn't sympathetic enough to his illness - that I didn't understand the seriousness of it. He said I was self-centered like all people my age. (He didn't think I could hear him but I was standing in the hall crying; I was so worried about his condition.) But I heard him and that's why I made it a point to attend - or at least offer to attend - every major surgery my parents had in my adulthood. I drove to CT when my mom had lumps removed in her breasts and her varicose veins done. I flew out to Ohio to help my father recover from his open heart surgery and his spinal stenosis. As an only child, it just seemed like the responsible thing to do.
I always knew it didn't go both ways. My parents get pretty preoccupied with their own lives; they're retired, and they want their retirement to be fun. Besides, when my parents visit it's always about their needs, so having them around when I'm sick never really works in my favor. That's why didn't tell them about the week I was in the hospital in 2004 or the week I was in the hospital in 2008. Stupidly, I decided to tell them I was having surgery this week. As an only child, it just seemed like the responsible thing to do.
Of course they didn't offer to help. They didn't offer to come keep me company or help out with cooking and chores. They just complimented me on how capable my husband was of taking care of everything - which I guess is something because for the first 8 years of our relationship, all they did was tell me what a terrible person he was. Ironically, they started liking him when he took care of me when I was in the hospital! I guess they really do think that he can just take care of everything!
Anyway, it's just nice when you have family that offers to help. Even when you don't NEED help, just the offer makes you feel less alone during a scary time. Or at least, I guess that's how it makes you feel - I wouldn't really know.
