Now I ask you... who won the argument?

WHEN: today
WHERE: inside my head
WHAT: a continuation of the never-ending argument between the nagging, anxious voice in my head and me, Juniper.

Juniper: I guess the UTI’s finally gone. It took a week but I’m finally starting to feel back to normal.

Voice: No thanks to you.

Juniper: What the hell are you talking about? When the gallon of cranberry juice didn’t help I went to the doctor and got some antibiotics. I took the antibiotics and now I’m better.

Voice: Still. You did it all wrong.

Juniper: HOW. How did I do it all wrong?! You make no sense!

Voice: The urinalysis wasn't conclusive. You can't be sure you even HAD a UTI. Maybe you were just being paranoid.

Juniper: No. That can happen. I'd been drinking a LOT of fluids. The doctor didn't think I was faking it. That's what you're worried about right - that he thought I was a faker. If he thought that, he wouldn't have given me the antibiotics.

Voice: Still. You got the wrong antibiotics. You didn’t make the doctor listen to you.

Juniper: I tried… I told him I had good luck with old-fashioned antibiotics like penicillin in the past but he wanted to give me that ‘Macrobid’ stuff. He was just too busy and I didn’t think it was worth it to argue with him.

Voice: Whatever it was, it didn’t agree with you. Up until last night you thought it had messed up your stomach.

Juniper: I didn’t think that – YOU kept telling me it had. But it didn’t. I’m fine today. It was probably just my IBS. Or the lactose intolerance. I don't have the greatest GI system, you know.

Voice: Still. It could have. Don’t forget that Cipro you took in 2001 – it knocked out your intestinal flora. Or at least they THINK it did. You’re so irresponsible; you never even went back to the hospital the next day with a stool sample like the doctor told you too.

Juniper: It was September 11th. THE September 11th, 2001? I was a little busy. The world was coming to an end. Remember??

Voice: Still.

Juniper: What is that, your favorite word?

Voice: Ok, ok. So you’ve returned to health. Good for you. What are you going to do for the rest of the day?

Juniper: I’m going to the store. We’re out of canned cat food, vitamins and seltzer water.

Voice: Right now? The day before a holiday? The store will be mobbed! AND you just got your car detailed a few hours ago… now you want to drive it into a dirty parking lot? Aren't you trying to sell it?! And that seltzer water – it can’t be good for your stomach… Still, if you don’t get the cat food, you’ll be depriving the cat of wet food. Are you sure she’s ok? She’s been sleeping a lot…

Juniper: Dear god... If I beat on my head with a rock, would you go away or just shut up for a little while?