Havin’ little arguments with myself…

WHEN: last Monday night
WHERE: inside my head
WHAT: argument between the nagging, anxious voice in my head and me, Juniper.

Juniper: Oh CRAP… I think I’m getting a UTI. Damn. Not another one! Why am I so susceptible to these?

Voice: It’s your fault Juniper. You’re just an icky, unclean girl.

Juniper: No, I’m not! Remember that ER doc who quizzed me about how to avoid UTI’s? He said I knew everything – that I could teach a course on how NOT to get them.

Voice: I remember. I remember that he SAID that if you know everything AND you still get UTI’s then there’s probably something wrong with your anatomy. You have bad kidneys or you have screwy plumbing. He said that if you keep getting them, you should get an ultrasound.

Juniper: Oh. Right. I remember. But my kidneys are fine - my shrink checked their function all the time when I was on Lithium. Besides, I had an ultrasound…

Voice: Yeah, when you were in third grade! You know, you saw that ER doc five years ago. You should’ve followed up on that.

Juniper: OK, I grant you, that was a while ago… but I’ve had other things to deal with.

Voice: Well, you don’t have the time right now to deal with getting to a referral and starting a series of tests with a urologist. You’re in the process of moving across the country, you know. Just add it to the long list of things to do when you get to New England. SIGH. Your new insurance company is going to LOVE you.

Juniper: Still, It’s not my fault.

Voice: Yes it is. Somehow it is. At the very least you should’ve pushed fluids. You knew you didn’t pee enough on Saturday…

Juniper: Ok, ok! You’re right. But I can do that now; I can nip it in the bud. I’ll go to the store first thing tomorrow morning and chug a huge bottle of cranberry juice. Ok?

Voice: Hrumph. We’ll see.


To be continued...