Let's give 'em something to talk about

In the past week I've been emailing a lot of people, trying to make a lot of plans for our upcoming adventures. As a result, I've had the opportunity to read emails that other people sent about me. I didn't have to sneak around to read these - they were attached to replies or cc'd to me.

But reading them left me feeling strange, nonetheless. I assume people don't talk about me much - I'm not that interesting. But it felt odd to see what people say about me, even when they know I'm listening:

Example 1: from my mom to a friend who works at the Hawaii Tourism Bureau

"Hi J!

[paragraph of pleasantries deleted]

Our daughter and son-in-law will be moving from the west coast back to the east coast this summer. Our son-in-law just finished his post-doctorate work in the Bay Area. They have had a long struggle getting to this point. He will be going on to Very Famous University in the fall now. They’d like to take a much needed vacation to Hawaii, where neither have ever been, before leaving the west coast, in celebration of all their hard work. They’ve been at this for about eight years. Our daughter, Juniper, will be in touch with you soon to get some suggestions from you about where they should go. Any help that you can give them will be much appreciated by them and by us.

[more pleasantries] Hope all is well with you.

Best regards,

Juniper’s mom"

My thoughts: Jeez mom! "long struggle," "all their hard work," "at this for eight years!" You make it sound like we've been on a chain gang! OK granted, the past eight years have been hard, but the way she tells it, my husband barely managed to get by!


Example 2: letter from my husband's therapist to a friend of his in New England:

"Dear L,

I have a patient who is moving with his wife to take a job at Very Famous University. I’ve treated him for three years, with moderate success. V and I also treated his wife in group therapy for a time.

She is a borderline personality who has responded well to intense treatment and will be looking for a therapist in town. I would very much appreciate referrals for her. As you can appreciate, confidentiality is a high priority. Thanks.

Hope you and M are enjoying your summer,

B"

My thoughts: uh, apparently I've become a new kind of species: "A Borderline Personality." I know this is the way a lot of docs talk but can't I at least have a diagnosis? Do I have to BE my disorder?

My husband's reaction: "I've only had moderate success? What's he talking about?!"

Me: "Well, I wouldn't know since I've responded well..."