We’ve made a decision. My husband took the job at Very Famous University (VFU) in New England. We would’ve preferred to stay on the west coast but none of those universities made him offers. Still, after we visited VFU a few weeks ago, it quickly became our first choice. It just felt right… familiar… like coming home. Literally.
You see, my husband grew up less than 50 miles from VFU. My hometown is less than 25 miles away. Most of our family and friends live just an hour or two away. When we moved to the Bay area in ’99 we tried to keep in touch, to visit at least once a year. But it’s taken a lot of effort. And a lot of the time we’ve felt pretty isolated. We’ve envied our friends who have the support of an extended family nearby.
I’m still scared to be leaving California, my therapists, my friends, my colleagues. But knowing that we won’t be so alone in our new home - it removes a lot of the anxiety. And, at our house, anything we can do to reduce anxiety is a good thing because we… we've been a little out of our minds with the stress of having to make such a big decision.
I can't believe we're going back home. My husband and I have lived in so many towns, so many states, even a couple of countries. I almost can't believe we have a home. It's surreal and eerie and kind of nice. It's like that song I've known since I was small... the one with the lyrics I can sing without even having to remember:
And the seasons, they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and down.
We're captive on a carousel of time.
We can’t return, we can only look
Behind from where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game.
- Joni Mitchell
And the painted ponies go up and down.
We're captive on a carousel of time.
We can’t return, we can only look
Behind from where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game.
- Joni Mitchell
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