All I want for christmas is a forklift

So I’m back. Sorry for the hiatus.

To say I’ve been busy would be the understatement of the year. There were THINGS to take care of.

You see, every single THING we owned (including our car, our bodies and our cat) had to be carefully packed and hauled across the burning August wastelands of all those red states. Man is it hot and dusty and scary in those states. (They don’t clean their gas station restrooms very well either.)

Then all those THINGS had to be unpacked, cleaned and obsessively put away somewhere in an aesthetically pleasing pattern.

All the THINGS we couldn’t move had to be replaced – so in came new ink cartridges, food, toilet paper, spray cleaners, cat litter, and light bulbs.

Finally, every little THING needed to be re-registered and re-approved to exist in our new state.

• Gotta organize the money – new checkbooks, grocery discount cards, jobs and IDs to park at the jobs. And 4 million change of address forms so everyone knows where to find us and our money.
  
• Gotta organize the bodies – new health, dental & eye insurance, a new veterinarian, gym memberships, optometrists, and gynecologists.
• Gotta organize the car – new oil, license plates, registration, and insurance policies.
• Gotta organize the ass – new couches, scratching posts and security systems to protect the precious couches. Oh, and new gas, power, phone, and cable TV subscriptions to make sitting on the couch worthwhile.
• And don’t forget the brain – new therapists to organize the brain, of course. More on that later.

So now that everyTHING is all clean and legal… now we just have to live.

Oh yeah. And buy a house. So we can do all this all over again in a few months.