Today, we talked about a phone conversation I had with my parents yesterday. Mom was friendly and asked about all about the cruise. Unfortunately, her back is still bothering her. The day she got back, she FINALLY went to the ER. Luckily, her neighbor next door took her and brought her home. (My mom’s living alone right now, which complicates everything…) All her tests were normal, so it looks like this is some kind of chest wall muscle pull. Her muscle spasms kept getting worse and worse so she saw an internist. He examined her said it will probably go away. He also prescribed a muscle relaxant and a nerve blocker. They help her, but with the pain pills she’s pretty wiped out. The combination makes her very sleepy so she’s not taking them all the time.
When my dad got on the phone, he sounded annoyed. Surely he must be happy to be on such a long vacation… right? (They’re leaving on Wednesday for a three-week long vacation to Hong Kong, Singapore and Australia.) But when I asked him, he sounded even gruffer.
“Well, I’m not really on vacation yet. I’ve got conference calls and work to do for the next couple of days.”
“Uh, ok. Well, I hope mom’s back starts to improve so she can enjoy her trip…”
“So do I. I don’t know what we’re going to do if it doesn’t… We’re going to be on the other side of the world!”
“Well, at least you can help mom pack. The more she can stay still and rest, the sooner she’ll probably heal… I tried to get her to keep still when she was visiting me but you know her… she just wants to do everything.”
“Well, she only had a couple of days and she wanted to spend time with you!”
He almost sounded like he was reprimanding me. Uh, she could’ve spent time with me AND sat still, I thought. I tried to end the conversation and get off the phone as soon as possible.
hmmmm....
Immediately, I assumed I’d done something to piss my dad off. Maybe I wasn’t sounding happy enough about our cruise, I wondered? We were stuck in traffic so I had a while to think about it.
After a while, I started to realize something. I DIDN”T DO ANYTHING WRONG. My dad’s just in a pissy mood because his vacation is getting all screwed up.
- This was supposed to be his retirement celebration, but due to some problems at work, he can’t retire until the end of January. Now he feels guilty about taking so much time off from work.
- This trip is costing him a fortune and now they might not get to enjoy it because my mom’s back is all jacked up.
- He’s got to spend the next three weeks, alone, with my mom. Who is not fun to be around when she’s sick.
- Not only is his trip all messed up, but he’s so emotionally crippled that he can’t even handle how he feels about it.
I actually started to feel bad for the guy.
But more importantly… I DIDN”T DO ANYTHING WRONG!!
I’m sure this seems abundantly obvious to everyone else, but I’m just so used to assuming I’m the cause of everyone else’s emotions. Especially my parents’.
This.
This is definite progress, said my psychiatrist.
“I enjoy talking to you, Juniper. I’m glad your back. I like taking your brain out for test drives.” He said.
“Yeah, well… at least if I’m going to have a quirky brain, at least it corners well.”
Now for the all important vacation pictures:
Getting on the tender ships to disembark at Cabo San Lucas
Rock formations where we snorkeled with the manta rays
Our stateroom. Don't worry though... those beds push right together.
1 comment:
i remember having a similar revalation about my dad (when he got mad when mom asked him to pay for half of my trip home - remember that?). i do think this is good progress. hooray for revalations!
i do hope your mom feels better though - it's no fun to travel when you can't move.
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