Dear Future:
I've got a bone to pick with you. Lately, I've begun to notice how many things are, well... hanging. Too many things. I'd like to have SOME concept, some vision of what my life will look like in five or six months. This lack of direction is starting to annoy me. Here are the items I would like you to resolve ASAP:
1. All future travel plans. Are those trips to Utah, North Carolina and Santa Fe going to happen? Are they going to happen by the end of March? Will I need to make more trips to prepare for relocation in April-June? Will my father be visiting in the coming months? And who will watch the cat while we jet around the country?
2. My husband's job. Will he get one? How soon? Will it be nice? Will he like the salary? Oh yeah, and where the hell will it be located? Can we narrow it down to one time zone at least?
3. My job. If we stay here, will I keep it? Do I even like it? If we live somewhere else, would I continue tutoring or will I go back to architecture? Full time or part time? Hmmm?
4. Babies. Like... will I ever have one? I know we've been only trying for six months and some months have been half-hearted attempts. But, I'd kinda like to know. NOW. And if I'm not pregnant this month (I don't know yet) why is my chest so swollen and tender? And why is my GI system all screwy? Just for fun?
5. The new car. What color will it be? How much will it cost? And when will I get it? How much will they give me for the trade in? Will it run ok or will it be a lemon? When will it get it's first scratch?
6. Our home. Ok, I realize that I won't be living here in this particular crap-shack in six months... that's good. But what will I be living in? Will we have purchased our first home? Will we still be in an apartment? Will it be nicer? Will this furniture be coming with us?
7. Will all the spiders and mold hiding in this apartment eventually rise up in the night and suffocate us? Or will the gas heater finally explode? Will this shack eventually do us in before we make it to our new home?
8. Will my patience give out?
'cmon future. Let's see a few results here. Understand? Good.
sincerely,
Juniper
3 comments:
this post = exactly how i felt from about july until novemeber.
word.
Hang in there. It will all work itself out soon. It's hard not knowing. But it's all good stuff. Fortunately, you aren't waiting for biopsy results or something. Try to keep it in perspective.
By the way, swollen painful chest and messed up GI track were some of my early PG symptoms. When do you test????
Betty: I know. I don't know how you tolerated it. Ugh.
Anonymous mom: I've got another week until I know anything. So it's REEAAAL early. Which is why I don't think these signs mean very much. I think it's more likely that my body is just screwing with me (pun intended).
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