But I'll give you the top ten:
- My apartment - specifically, its inability to come clean. When will my landlord ever learn that a millimeter of caulking is not the way to fix everything. Also, how can one 6 pound cat shed 100 cubic meters of fur?
- My car - specifically, how much time I spend in it. Today, for example, I left the house at 8:45am and didn't get home until 6pm. Throughout the day, I had three, one hour long meetings. The rest of the time... driving from one store to another.
- Those stores. Yes, shoe shopping is usually a happy occasion, but not today! Today, I had to use half of a Christmas gift certificate on shoes I didn't want. My mother was dead set on me wearing new shoes for my father's retirement dinner next week. I didn't fall in love with anything at the store, but I don't have all week to go hunting around. I have this thing... maybe you've heard of it... it's called, A JOB. Oh, and ladies (the ones working at the shoe outlet) not everyone else loves R&B as much as you do.
- Oh yeah, my job. What is wrong with our company's tutors? Today a young man told me that he couldn't take a student because it wasn't worth his while to drive to the kid's house for only one hour. If I could magically whip another student (immediately afterwards and in the same neighborhood, of course) out of MY ASS, then maybe he'd consider it. Dude. Sorry work is so much... work. Suck it up.
- My ass - specifically, its large size. Thanks to years of therapy, I now actually care enough about myself and my appearance that it's finally starting to bug me. Thanks doc. What a gift of health.
- My therapist. Three years ago, when she was my counselor at the residential program, she confiscated four pocket knives that I was occasionally using to cut myself. I don't cut myself anymore so this summer, I asked for them back. They were gone. Someone had taken them from the "locked" medicine cabinet that only staff have the keys to. Thanks guys. To replace the knives would cost about $200. She said she'd talk to the director (who hates me and kicked me out two years ago) about getting my money back. For the last six months, she's chickened out. Finally today, I told her that if she didn't talk to the guy in the next two weeks, I was going to skip two sessions with her to recoup the $200. I told her that I didn't think it was fair that she should lose the business and I should lose the therapy, but what other choice do I have??
- Waste. Today, I brought two bags full of stuff to Goodwill. One whole bag was full of awful clothes my mother has bought me. Exhibit two: these socks.
Seriously woman. I used to be an architect. I used to dress all in black. Do these look like they're for me? - My mother. She's always dressed me funny and now she's trying to get me appropriately gussied up for my father's retirement party. I already mentioned the shoes. Exhibit 3: the sweater I managed to avoid at Christmas (similar to this but in white):
Exhibit 4: the skirt from Talbots I did not manage to avoid. 
It's got a very special 1950's Donna Reed, big hips kinda thing happening. Thaaanks. Oh yeah, and did I mention, she wants me to get my hair and makeup done that afternoon. Hair and makeup. In New Jersey. Why did I give up medication? - My freaky subconscious and the sleep it robs from me. For some reason, I've slept horribly the last two nights. I've particularly hated all the disturbing baby dreams. In some, I have a baby and then I lose it. In some, I have a baby and its deformed. And then in others, I have a baby and it's wonderful but then I have to wake up to realize that I do not, in fact have a baby yet.
- PMS. I wish I could say that my intense emotions today were due to raging pregnancy hormones but most likely, it's just PMS. Let's just say that spending the holidays with your family = great birth control. And if I'm not pregnant, why did I wake up at 4:30am craving dim sum?!! That's just adding insult to injury. (See number 5.)
Oh yeah. And her. She just looks annoying. Grrr...
2 comments:
LOL! at those socks! OMG! She's even nuttier in her old age! They reminded me of the sweaters you used to get from Ohio. Face it, she's turned into your Granny. Oh and dear Lord, Talbot's. Every time I see a Talbots, I think of your mom. But WHY is she dressing you?? Or trying to?? That's insane! She bought you that skirt and sweater to wear to the party?? This is like the car picking out thing all over. Homestly, you need to go and pick something else out tht YOU will be comfortable wearing. You are more than capable of picking out your own clothing to wear to this event. Don't let them do this to you. They are making you feel about about the way you look. It's their narcacism that makes them so obsessed with how you are going to look and reflect on them. It's not about you at all. As for the hair and make-up, if your mom is paying for it, I'd do it, but I'd be sure to dictate to the stylist how you want to look and how you don't. OMG this is making me really angry for you. You are 32 years old, for christ sake. I cannot believe them! I feel like she must still think of you as 14. But you need to start fighting back on this stuff. They can't keep doing this. And by fighting back, I don't mean arguing with them. I would just ignore them and do your own thing. Just keep asserting your identity with your actions. I think if you show up looking FABULOUS in your own clothes that will be a big statement. I can't wait to see you on Sunday!!
I WANT THOSE SOCKS. Forgive me for my bad taste because you really sound like someone I'd like to know, but I love the socks.
OK, what is it about mothers? And therapists?
1) Mother. I wonder ... hmmm. If it would be possible for you to just benignly nod and (appear to) agree with everything she says and then just do your own thing anyway? I know, I know, I know, it's almost impossible to argue with someone like this, so don't.
Yeah, tell the stylist: I want my hair down (not up with curlicues LOL) (or however YOU want it) and the makeup person "No, I never wear base -- I want to look made up without makeup" (or however you want it, "I want to look like Cher.") That way you did what mommy wanted and got what you needed.
Clothes are more difficult, unless you have something up your sleeve. Then just let her go off on her own, get dressed and go after her and show up. What's she going to do? Send you home? I wouldn't dress in one thing then change to the other. Or maybe you could have an unfortunate accident in the Talbot's clothes? OH how AWFUL that that HUGE cup of coffee spilled ALL OVER this white sweater and lovely skirt. I happen to have a dress ... I'll press it and we'll be on our way.
Truth is, you don't need to fight back so much as just benignly do what you want. Given that you live on opposite coasts, this isn't going to be a daily problem, and you aren't going to convince her to change in an argument anyway.
Now, about therapists. I was furious with mine this morning, but this isn't about me LOL. But I can't imagine him being a pansy to a muckety-muck.
I wonder (just wonder) if maybe the therapist is in a bad situation but doesn't have the balls to say THAT either. The gripe really is between you and the hospital. The therapist is the go-between. You can't really blame the messenger, right? So suck it up yourself and go to the hospital (in writing or in person) and ask for your personal property (doesn't matter if it's knives or stuffed animals, it's yours and they took it away from you and promised it back).
If you write, put in a deadline: I hope to hear back from you by Jan. 21. If I don't, I will be forced to write to xyz(department head? president of hospital? nothing like a rocket letter to get things done -- rocket letters are ones that go straight to the top, skipping even the person you're pissed with. Works great as there is usually a person who "deals" with rocket letters because no one wants the ceo to actually SEE them.)
You could mention the value of the items, I might not even mention you understand they are lost.
The argument you have with your therapist isn't that she won't do the thing she said she'd do as much as that she doesn't speak up for herself: If she doesn't want to do it, she should say that. If she does, why doesn't she do it?
I wouldn't say you should skip two sessions to get the $200 back if you want that -- you should GO to the two sessions but NOT PAY. If you pay but don't go aren't you paying for nothing on top of losing the knives.
I'm sure this is bizarre and out of the blue and ... HI! I love your blog.
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